“Use positive reinforcement.
Create a positive environment.
Say yes as much as possible.
Save no for the important things.
Use natural consequences.
Use logical consequences.
Use restitution.
Leave it up to your child.
Compromise.
State your expectations, and get out of the way.
Give specific instructions.
Give a reason.
Offer help.
Give a choice.
Redirect your child.
Remove your child.
Make positive statements.
Give in occasionally.
Give your child time to agree.
Simply insist.
Make rules.
Ignore some behavior.
Avoid nagging and threats.
Distract your child.
Use humor.
Make it a game.
Be willing to admit your mistakes.
Stop and think before you act.
Don’t make a big fuss over little things.
Stick to routines.
Don’t hurry your children too much.
Get to the root of the problem.
Correct one behavior at a time.
Give yourselves time.
Use the golden rule.
Model appropriate behavior.
Think of your child as an equal.
Always keep your love for your child in mind.”
From the book Natural Family Living by Peggy O’Mara, editor and publisher of Mothering Magazine
See I read this list and I think “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”
Wouldn’t “Use logical consequences”, “Make rules”, and “Correct one behavior at a time” sorta imply punishment at some point? What is the consequence? What happens if the rule is broken? How are you correcting the behavior?
You’re right. For example, “logical consequences” is code for a form of punishment that fits the crime. The whole list is full of contradictions, actually, and in the book there’s more explanation. Lots of good reminders here, though.